I want to write. I feel like I need to write. But I have absolutely no idea what I want to say. I'm so uncertain about what's going through my brain. It just keeps jumping from topic to topic. I should be studying for my final tomorrow but instead, I just keep thinking about everything else.

I just need someone to connect with. I need someone who will really be there for me. I need to find my way.

I just want to do something "right" for once.

Tonight, I wondered if I would ever manage to be in a normal relationship.
For me, the girlfriend, to have him, the boyfriend, and do normal, girlfriend-boyfriend stuff, like holding hands or meeting each other's families or just hanging out and talking on a regular basis.

That's what people in a relationship do, right? That stuff's easy enough. I could do those sorts of things, right? Normal people want to do that kind of stuff, right?

It's normal to want more than these odd... arrangements... I seem to constantly find myself in, right?

Now I've lost my train of thought and all I want to do is curl up into my blanket and sleep everything away...

Song to listen to: Tragedy (Austin Cello Version) - Brandi Carlile