I cried that night. I didn't mean to and I didn't want to, but the tears were spilling out before I could even process them. And I had no idea how to tell you.

For someone who knows me so well, I don't understand how you could be the way you are. You say you try. You say you care. But it's so hard to believe you when every action is a contradiction of your words.

If you really wanted to talk to me, it would happen. If you really wanted to see me, it would happen. If you really cared about me, you'd show me.

But instead, all I get are words whenever it's convenient for you. I have absolutely no idea what to do.

Sometimes I wonder if officially committing to each other would change things between us. But it's hard to even seriously consider that commitment when you do nothing to encourage me. Sigh. I just don't know how to change this.