I wish that you could see me,
What I am inside and out.
I can't chase away my shadows;
What I am is not what you know.

The blackness overwhelms me:
The wet, the cold, the dark;
But there I find your black hand
To take me where I'll see you.

-Me

that's all I really want, I think... to be understood and to understand...
I think I am too often classified, but no one truly knows me...
I'm afraid to let people in... afraid to let people know me... afraid to talk to people about myself...
I don't know who I am... I don't know what I want... I don't even know what I mean with this poem...
I do know that I am incredibly terrified... that I can confess to the world wide web where all can see, but not to those closest to me... that I am incredibly confused... that the inspiration and the words of this poem came from a previously untapped part of me and that it means more to me than anyone can understand... and that I don't know anything.

It's a scary world out there and I'm stuck living in it.
I can't be weak... I can't survive if I'm weak... That's why I appear to be so strong... but I guess appearances can be deceiving...

Like I said, I just want to be understood and to understand...

tonight was simply wonderful.
he made it wonderful.
the evening exceeded all my expectations.
I still can't stop smiling.
I think my cheeks are even a little sore.
I won't be forgetting tonight any time soon.

There are 2 more months of school...
23 days of classes...

It's a weird feeling.
I'm surprised at how fast it all went.
I'm scared for what is going to come.
But I'm happy right now, with everything and everyone aroud me. The way things are, I'm appreciating it all.
I don't know what will happen to me in 2 months, but for now, I'm going to just live.