I'm in an odd place right now and I really don't like it. But honestly, I don't know what to do. Things weren't supposed to be this way. I just want to be happy...

I've been thinking about M, lately. I don't miss him anymore. I truly believe that I'm over him now. But he's crossed my mind several times and I've been feeling this strange urge to reread his emails and texts and to reminisce. I really want to just do it, but I'm kind of afraid that doing so will make me want him all over again and I definitely can't do that... Maybe I do still kind of miss him. Or at least, I miss what we had and how he made me feel. I miss talking to him and thinking about him and the relationship (however you want to define it) we once had.

I feel so lost in life. I don't know what I want or what I have. I don't know where I want to go. It shouldn't be this hard to figure stuff out! So then... why is it?

I'm sick of pressure and routine. I am so desperate to get away. I want to jump in my car and just keep on going and going...

I need an escape...