You're kind of back in my life... But not really.

I'm so confused when it comes to you. I can be happy with the way things are, I guess. It's better to kind of have you then to not have you at all. At least now, there's moments of happiness that comes with the confusion and pain.

God, I should not feel this strongly about you... Especially when I no longer know whether or not you care for me the way you once did. Especially when I don't know what happened between us.

This feels like a tease. I don't know what to make of it.
I don't believe that you could be so cruel that you'd intentionally toy with my emotions. I don't want to think that you could just be trying to draw me back because I was finally showing you signs of slipping away. It wouldn't be the first time that thought has crossed my mind, though.

You can't possibly know how I feel because you haven't asked and I can't find the courage to offer you the answer otherwise. But basically, I hurt a lot over all this. More than I should, I'm sure. If I could change this, I think I would. Unless you give me some sign that wanting this is all worth it.

I really don't want to ask you for much... I'm sorry if this seems like it is much. I just wish we could be more open with each other. I think it would make all the difference.

I still adore you so much. I still want you. I still miss you.