He's broken his finger.
He got the job.
He's had a terrible weekend.

And I know all this without ever hearing a direct word from him.
It hurts a bit to learn all this via away message...

I reached out to him and I got nothing in return. This is the second time in a row now and while I'm not terribly surprised by it, I'm still so disappointed.

My heart kind of feels broken. It has for so long now, but it's hurting right now. For some reason, I am wondering if you're happier without me. If making your money is more important than I ever was or could be. What was the point in even having me? Do you ever think of me? Do I matter anymore? What happened? Why did I suddenly stop mattering to you?

I'm beginning to accept that I'll never get that sort of closure from you. I understand now that I need to just let you go. You will only ever hurt me. All the good you ever did for me is now outweighed by the bad. I'm terrified now, because of you.

I knew it would end like this eventually. I wish I had had more time to brace myself for it.

And the twisted part of me knows that if you ever tried to get back into my life, I'd give you that second chance in a heartbeat. I don't know why I always do it, but I do.

I just miss you. But I really wish I didn't.
I regret you. It would've been easier to have never met you.

Goodbye, Mike.
And I learn.