"i know how much he hurt you"

My best friend, Jessica, wrote that to me earlier. She can't possibly know how much that means to me. It still hurts me so much and it is definitely affecting me still. I should be over it by now, but he just keeps messing with me and allowing me to regain hope. And so, instead, I'm trapped in this ridiculous cycle that I just haven't been able to break out of. I'd like to at least be friends but I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle that.

And now, there's someone else. At first, he was just a friend, a good, caring, flirtatious friend. Then he became my comfort and my distraction. For a while, I regarded him as just my rebound guy. But as we talk more and more, I wonder if I do have genuine feelings for him. I was unable to see us ever developing into anything before, but now, I think I can.

But he comes with so many complications and I'm still so jaded. Then again, this keeps things moving slow and slow is a good thing for me.

I've lost my train of thought so I'm going to stop rambling.