I feel so... unnecessary...
I don't really know how else to describe it.
My life definitely isn't going the way I want it too. Everything seems to be going so utterly wrong. Nothing feels right anymore.
When the good moments happen, I throw myself so completely into it...
and when it's over, I'm left with nothing but the memory of a good moment, which makes me feel so much more empty.
I don't know how to change it all. I feel like I've lost all control.
I feel like I'm floating on a cloud a million miles away while a shell of me is going through the motions of my life...
I can't help but feeling that my life is a mistake... that every action I've ever taken has led me further and further astray...

Isn't this the point where things can only get better? Or do I still have yet to hit rock bottom?
I shudder at the thought.
I want to cry a lot of the time...
but I'm up on my cloud and my shell is unable to shed a tear...

I don't know anything anymore...
my life is just useless rambling...