I don't have the strength to do this anymore. I'm shaking and crying as I write this. it's just too hard. I just can't do it, I really can't. I just can't feel this much pain anymore, and it really does just hurt so incredibly bad. my world keeps shattering, and everytime I find some hope to putting it all back together, it continues to shatter. everytime I think that things can only go up from this point, someone or something proves me wrong. I wish things were easier. I wish my problems were stupid and silly, like getting grounded or something. I can't deal with lies and tales and hopelessness and betrayal. for all these years, I've been "strong". I think I've lost that strength. it's dried up. I can't be strong... not for myself... not for other people...

the amount of pain is so intense...
dying couldn't possibly hurt me more...
what can I do now?
who could possibly save me now?

if the point of life is to suffer, why live?
I value my life, and I want to live to find out why we live...
I just hope I find the strength to do so...